Such a dirty screen.

I remember the sexiness of the laptop computer.

The concept, at least to me, was fucking crazy. The idea that a personal computer could be carried from place to place, plugged in, and fully functional was ludicrous at best.

I always feel old when I express sentiments like this; "Good gosh, those kids today don't know how good they've got it and whatnot." And I know I sound old when I talk about being fascinated by .mp3 players, camera phones, and things like that. I go to the Apple Store or the Sharper Image and stand, aghast at all the technology, like John Wayne confronting a horseless carriage or one of the apes from 2001 pondering a monolith that looks suspiciously like an iPod.

That being said, I'm no neophyte when it comes to technology. I understand the concepts of a computer well enough to articulate them to a child, which is more than I can say for some members of my family, but that doesn't mean that I'm without wonder.

Right now I'm sitting on the sidewalk, at a coffee shop a block up the street from my apartment, drinking coffee, listening to iTunes and typing these words. I know this is hardly innovative to anyone else in the world, but let me point something out: I've never used a laptop for its intended purpose.

Oh, sure I've used my fiancee's laptop before. Before we moved to our current place, the laptop was the only computer we used at home. It had wireless Internet, which was more than we could say for our desktop PC. The laptop was always positioned on the coffee table in our living room or on the kitchen table and it was used for everything - checking e-mail, paying bills, downloading music, playing games, consuming porn, etc., etc. - while the desktop was used mostly for burning DVDs and playing free cell. I used the laptop as a desktop, at home and rarely anywhere else.

But now that the aforementioned desktop is snugly connected to the Internets I find myself rarely, if ever, using the laptop. I do my writing at home, I do my work at work, and that's pretty much it. Honestly, I'm not sure that this computer has ever been used outdoors.

Until now.

And I'm deathly afraid a bird will shit on it.

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